[NTLUG:Discuss] Fw: Microsoft/Foot & Mouth Disease

[asenec@senechalle.net]

The solution should be readily apparent:
simply reboot your cow.

Annette

> From discuss-admin at ntlug.org Wed Apr 11 12:32 CDT 2001
> From: "Charles Jacobus" <charles.jacobus at home.com>
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> Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 12:23:21 -0500
> 
> 
> Atlanta, Ga. (SatireWire.com) - Scientists at the Centers for Disease
> 
> Control and Symantec's AntiVirus Research Center today confirmed that
> 
> foot-and-mouth disease cannot be spread by Microsoft's Outlook email
> 
> application, believed to be the first time the program has ever
> 
> failed to propagate a major virus.
> 
> 
> "Frankly, we've never heard of a virus that couldn't spread through
> 
> Microsoft Outlook, so our findings were, to say the least,
> 
> unexpected," said Clive Sarnow, director of the CDC's infectious
> 
> disease unit.
> 
> 
> The study was immediately hailed by British officials, who said it
> 
> will save millions of pounds and thousands of man hours. "Up until
> 
> now we have, quite naturally, assumed that both foot-and-mouth and
> 
> mad cow were spread by Microsoft Outlook," said Nick Brown, Britain's
> 
> Agriculture Minister. "By eliminating it, we can focus our resources
> 
> elsewhere."
> 
> 
> However, researchers in the Netherlands, where foot-and-mouth has
> 
> recently appeared, said
> 
> they are not yet prepared to disqualify Outlook, which has been the
> 
> progenitor of viruses such as "I Love You," "Bubbleboy," "Anna
> 
> Kournikova," and "Naked Wife," to name but a few.
> 
> 
> Said Nils Overmars, director of the Molecular Virology Lab at Leiden
> 
> University: "It's not that we don't trust the research, it's just
> 
> that as scientists, we are trained to be skeptical of any finding
> 
> that flies in the face of established truth. And this one flies in
> 
> the face like a blind drunk sparrow."
> 
> 
> Executives at Microsoft, meanwhile, were equally skeptical, insisting
> 
> that Outlook's patented Virus Transfer Protocol (VTP) has proven
> 
> virtually pervious to any virus. The company, however, will issue a
> 
> free VTP patch if it turns out the application is not vulnerable to
> 
> foot-and-mouth.
> 
> 
> Such an admission would be embarrassing for the software giant, but
> 
> Symantec virologist Ariel Kologne insisted that no one is more
> 
> humiliated by the study than she is. "Only last week, I had a
> 
> reporter ask if the foot-and-mouth virus spreads through Microsoft
> 
> Outlook, and I told him,'Doesn't everything?'" she recalled. "Who
> 
> would've thought?"
> 
> 
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